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For my post today, someone suggested I write about branding the IVR.  This is something I frequently talk to customers about, often under the umbrella of our Voice Identity Program.  When I refer to branding, I'm talking about the goal of deliberately invoking certain feelings and emotions in callers as a result of their interaction.  Without getting into specifics about how to go about this feat, I decided I'd rather think about why this can be so hard sometimes.  I've concluded that branding telephone systems is an uphill (but not impossible) battle because callers have the ability to attribute negative personality attributes to them.

To demonstrate the burden of branding an IVR, I shared a list of negative anthropomorphous statements with a few friends.  (In a nutshell, anthropomorphism is the practice of assigning humanlike abilities - feelings, characteristics, motivations -- to non-human things.  As a dog owner, I'm going to stay away from the debate about animals and emotions and focus on the humanizing of things that cannot demand food with a loving kiss and a flirtatious little wag.)  Anyway, I asked these volunteers to identify which statements, if any, sounded unnatural -- ones they just expect to hear in everyday speech.  Those were eliminated from the list with stars, leaving just two realistic sentiments (in bold).  See if you don't agree with my friends.  Maybe you've even said or heard one of the remaining phrases before:

* Our toaster rudely burnt my daughter's toast this morning.
* The gas pump vindictively failed to shut off in time.
The phone system was so stupid, it didn't know my balance.
* My cell phone impolitely dropped my conference call.
* Your website was so insensitive when it ignored my mouse click.
That speech recognition service hates me; it never understands a word I say.

So, why are the un-starred statements considered reasonable?  Keep in mind, it's been documented that most anthropomorphisms are skewed positive (again, avoiding those involving animals).  Essentially, the act of granting an object the ability to think and feel is a way to demonstrate fondness for it.  It's when we really like our cars and our houseplants that we bother to connect with them in a more intimate way.  Don't believe me? Just ask my orchids.

Okay, that all explains why the thought of calling a toaster rude rubbed my friends the wrong way.  While a kitchen appliance that makes espresso is my husband's best friend in the whole world, one that occasionally burns things just doesn't deserve the effort it takes to give it a personality.  But as you can see from the acceptable statements left in my list, it's perfectly okay to assign negative intent to the inner workings of an IVR. There are lots of reasons why this might be.  For example:

• IVR services talk to us, and sometimes we talk to them.  And, until recently, that's only something other humans would do.
• IVR interactions tend to be complex and absorbing, and we often have an emotional stake in the outcome.
• True or not, IVRs are often perceived as a hurdle to overcome before getting what we really want -- such as access to an agent.
• IVR conversations are conversations with computers, and "stupid computers" have also broken down the positive-anthropomorphism barrier.

In sum, we need to approach IVR branding with the knowledge that we're dealing with a unique situation where non-human automation potentially evokes very human negativity.  Given this climate, using an IVR to create a positive brand image is no easy job.  I won't say it cannot be done!  I will say, however, that doing nothing practically guarantees failure.  

 My advice?  Don't leave your IVR brand impressions to chance because there's a good chance they'll be bad.